The Christmas Top Gear special normally starts a new series and the 28th Dec saw an eagerly awaited road trip across India, hopefully with all the tension and humour of previous events. But within 20 minutes or so, there was sufficient evidence that this episode would not be to the standard of previous road trips.
First of all, the 3 presenters turned up with what appeared to be, pretty good cars, an immaculate mini, a Rolls Royce and a Jaguar XJS, at least 2 of these probably deserved to not be inflicted with the normal Top Gear punishment and kept in the way they had been up to now.
Instead of leaving their starting point of Bombay to head into the chaotic roads of India, they decided to first do a challenge within Bombay of delivering meals to compete with the locals. So the road trip, became nothing more than, how to try and make people laugh. The only glint came from “Hamster”, when he turned quickly on his Mini to see tins of food fly off his roof. Except the quick turn appeared to to be staged very badly as the road was empty except for him, something that you would not see in India. We then se James May drive out of Bombay in his Rolls Royce, pretending he was lost. “Jezza” got there on time but with only a few meals and of course a lot of spills.
So now we are ready for the road story that will see them tackle 1000s of miles of open road!! Well no! They went on a train, with the cars in the back, and decided to pretend to entertain the passengers on the train, with drums double bass and keyboard. Amazing how that double bass just appeared.
Now comes the part where they dress the train in Banners marketing the British exports and James misses the train. We see him miss the train at one end, then appear with his rug sack at the next end, mmm, how did he get that?
The decoration of the train goes bad when the exact train cars with the banners separate, leaving half banners that say funny things; never seen that before!
Now the cars are back on the road and its time for a staged hill climb. Jeremy now has his crash helmet with him (where do that come from)? Nothing more to say about this part.
With 30 minutes to go on this 1 and 1/2 hour special, the guys head off in their cars towards China, at last we see what we wanted to see an hour ago. Dangerous roads, mad driving and of course the cars all get some customisation. Then we see some amazing scenery as the rough roads come to play. At last some good Top Gear stuff.
I can excuse the cricket match with the locals, it did seem appropriate compared with the earlier farce. Then the 3 cars are left on pedestals where they ended to celebrate British car making.
We know that Top Gear specials are scripted and we know that most things are staged, but this episode was just too unreal, and the apparent mishaps, like driving a mini digger into the Rolls or blowing up a room with a big firework just looked stupid rather than funny.
It was if this episode had no script at all, and something needed to fill the 90 mins, so it was made up as they went with sketches that would have been rejected by just about everyone else.
If the guys had just driven out of Bombay with their cars , more would have happened, it would have been funnier and more entertaining and a real adventure, not the disappointment of 2011. Lets hope the new series is better.